


Date with a Martian Stuntwoman

by WolfenM



Series: Date with a ... [3]
Category: Stargate - All Series, Stargate SG-1
Genre: Amusement Parks, Angst and Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awkward Conversations, Awkward Dates, Awkward Flirting, Awkward Romance, Awkwardness, Character Study, Disney References, Disney World & Disneyland, Disney-MGM Studios, Drama, Drama & Romance, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Introspection, Light Angst, POV Daniel Jackson, POV Sam Carter, POV Third Person, POV Vala Mal Doran, Romance, Team Bonding, Team as Family, Vacation, theme park
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-12
Updated: 2016-12-12
Packaged: 2018-09-08 00:09:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8821789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfenM/pseuds/WolfenM
Summary: SG-1 go to the Disney-MGM Studios ....





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written late 2006, tweaked slightly for this reposting (I figure it's about time I get my Stargate stuff posted over here).
> 
> WARNING: There are spoilers here in the second chapter for a gag in the Indiana Jones Stunt Spectacular, and for another in The Great Movie Ride.
> 
> This work is not intended as an ad for Disney; it's just where I chose to set the story. Note that the parks have been altered quite a bit since 2006, and Fastpasses work differently these days. Back then, you went up to a separate kiosk for *each ride*, on the day of your visit, and there were often still passes left later in the day, depending on the ride.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: Daniel Jackson, Vala Mal Doran, Sam Carter, Teal'c, Cameron Mitchell, Jack O'Neill, General Landry, Carolyn Lam, The Trust, the Ori, and the Stargate ©/TM Stargate (II) Productions, Kawoosh Productions, The SCI FI Channel, Showtime/Viacom, Sony/MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions. Disney World, the Magic Kingdom, the Disney-MGM Studios, Cinderella's Royal Table, Cinderella's Castle, The Pirates of the Caribbean, Fantasyland, Tomorrowland, Frontierland, The Haunted Mansion, Snow White, Beauty and the Beast, Goofy, the Chipmunks, Streetmosphere, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Jack Skellington, Sally the Ragdoll, the Twilight Zone Tower of Terror, the Rockin Roller Coaster, Hollywood and Vine, The Sci-Fi Dine-In Theater, Streets of America, Endor vendors, Tatooine Traders, Voyage of the Little Mermaid, the Honey I Shrunk the Kids Playground, Sounds Dangerous, the ABC Commissary, the Lights, Motors, Action! Extreme Stunt Show, The Indiana Jones Epic Stunt Spectacular, Star Tours, Fastpasses, and anything else Walt Disney World-related ©, R, and TM the Walt Disney Company. "Beauty and the Beast" theme written by Howard Ashman and Alan Menken. This work is not intended as an ad for Disney -- it's just where I chose to set the story. Star Wars, Han Solo, Princess Leia, Luke Skywalker, See Threepio, Artoo Deetoo, Mon Calamarians, Tatooine, Endor, Dagobah, Yavin, Hoth, Indiana Jones, and Marylin © & TM Lucasfilm. Alien © 20th Century Fox. The Wizard of Oz © MGM. Elphaba and Wicked © Gregory Maguire. Mulch, Sweat, and Shears © themselves.

Vala's squeal of delight woke Sam well before the concierge ever had a chance to call their suite. Peeking a sleepy eye open, she found the rogue twirling about, a pirate captain's hat sitting jauntily atop her head (and in danger of falling off at any moment), and a shirt that read "Pirate Princess" pressed to her breast. She reminded Sam every bit of Cassandra on her first Christmas morning.

"Look what Daniel bought me!" Vala crowed, a grin threatening to split her face in two.

Tired as she was, Sam couldn't be mad. She just laughed softly, shaking her head. "They're very cute."

"I can't wait to put them on!"

"Oh, well, by all means, take your shower first, then!" Sam said, gesturing to the door.

Vala nodded, grinning wide as she grabbed the rest of her clothes and practically hurled herself through the wooden portal, barely remembering to actually _open_ it in time. Sam was sure the slam of said door had woken their suitemates, but didn't care, drifting back into dreamland herself mere seconds after.

* * *

_She's probably seen the stuff by now_ , Daniel thought as the hot water sluiced over his shoulders, picturing Vala's childlike glee and holding the image in his mind.

Landry had been right after all: although weariness had dropped him hard into dreamland the night before, Daniel felt far more rested now than he remembered feeling in weeks -- maybe months! It helped that the other guys had woken him last. Mitchell had made a crack to Teal'c about needing their brainiac at the top of their game in his search for the Ori weapon; Daniel wasn't meant to hear the jest, of course.

Daniel was momentarily astonished to find that he'd _forgotten_ about his precious mission within the last day. Then he mused that he _shouldn't_ be surprised to have forgotten -- the Magic Kingdom had a way of doing that to a person, make one forget everything outside its gates. Maybe that was why he found the park's allowance of cell phones so grating -- they disturbed the illusion. He realised now just how much he'd _needed_ that illusion in order to recharge, and wouldn't allow himself to feel even an ounce of guilt anymore over their little vacation. When he got back to SGC, de-stressed and able to look at his task with fresh eyes, he'd probably get better results than if he'd spent the whole weekend working!

There was a knock at the door moments after he stepped out of the bathroom, dressed and ready to go. (Well, almost ready -- he snagged the pirate hat he'd bought the day before off of Cameron's head and rest it on his own.) Pausing just long enough to give Daniel puppy-dog tears at the loss of the headgear, Cameron warily eyed at the door as if he expected there to be a Prior on the other side, coming to give the sales pitch of Origin. "No way, they _can't_ be ready already! There's _six_ of them over there, and only _four_ of _us_ , and _we_ just finished!"

"Well, Daniel's been known to preen," Jack teased as he opened the door. He was nearly knocked off his feet by the deceptively diminutive figure waiting on the other side.

"DaniellookitwhatIyou're not Daniel!" Vala accused Jack, quickly removing her arms from around the man's neck.

"Ah, over here..." Daniel said, waggling his fingers.

"Right. Sorry," she told Jack, before skipping over to Daniel, the scrapbook he'd bought her the day before in-hand. "I started already!" she told him proudly, holding it out to him, adding, "I like your hat!"

He paused a moment to take in how cute she was in the pirate-themed gear he'd bought her, and unconsciously thumbed the brim of his hat before accepting the book. She bit her lip in anticipation as he opened it. She'd been very busy that morning, he saw. She'd arranged the park brochure, the schedule, and her Magic Kingdom ticket on the first page, against a backdrop of the Castle. On a few "Pirates" pages, she detailed their adventures in, well, Adventureland, as well as Frontierland -- including a comment on how nice he'd look in his wet t-shirt after Splash Mountain. He made a mental note to make sure that none of the others read the scrapbook thoroughly -- and another note to take the time to do precisely that himself. On a Tinkerbelle page, she'd told the story of their passage through Fantasyland, while a "Stitch" page told of Tomorrowland. She had put the photo of them at Cinderella's Royal Table on, of course, a "Cinderella" page, using four of the photo-stickers of them to hold it in place. On another page, she'd detailed what they ate, and told of how Daniel had surprised her with the pin. She's pasted the reservation card he'd given her at the end of their meal at the bottom of the page. On a Castle page, she shared the story of the Spectromagic parade, the rose he'd given her, the fireworks display ... and their first kiss since he'd officially started courting her. He felt a flush of warmth at the memory. Yes, he definitely couldn't let the others read this thing ....

"You did a really nice job with this!" he told her, sincerely impressed, while ignoring Mitchell's attempt to look at it over his shoulder, yet effectively keeping the man from seeing anything. His hat helped in that endeavor. "And so quickly, too!"

"I've been up since 5:30," Vala admitted. "I didn't want to forget anything!" She tilted her head, biting her lip, eyes looking down bashfully as she twirled her hair.

"Neither do I -- I'm glad you did this now, while the memories are still fresh," he told her, holding the now-closed book up for emphasis. He'd make an archiver out of her yet! He reached out, entwining his fingers in her hair as he drew her close and gave her a soft morning kiss.

"I think I'm gonna hurl," Cameron told Teal'c in a stage whisper.

"I believe that will be difficult to do without first breaking our fast," Teal'c observed.

"I can never tell if he's serious or yankin' my chain," Cam complained.

* * *

Since they were once again taking advantage of the Extra Magic Hours, a hotel-guests-only period before the actual opening, the Disney-MGM Studios was blessedly peaceful when they arrived.

Daniel wasn't sure why, but he always preferred Hollywood Boulevard to Main Street. Or rather, he _had_ , until some nitwit had gotten the bright idea to block the view of the replica of Grauman's Chinese Theatre at the end of it with a giant Sorcerer's Apprentice hat, jarring the view out of 40s-era Hollywood. He wished Vala could have seen the "proper" view, but she seemed to be enjoying the sights regardless. As they made their way to Sunset Boulevard, they bantered playfully with the members of Streetmosphere -- actors playing directors, movie starlets, police, and other citizens of the Hollywood of the '40s. Vala "borrowed" a feather boa from one of them under the pretense of trying it on and then supposedly forgetting about it when she went to walk away. She didn't get very far before Daniel caught her hand, pulled her back, and "reminded" her to return it. He didn't even get mad, just chuckling and shaking his head. Truthfully, she'd shown remarkable restraint so far this trip, if he really thought about it ....

Once they reached the intersection, Jack and Sam abandoned them in order to get reservations for their own private dinner, away from "the kids", at the Brown Derby. The rest of SG-1 and their companions turned down Sunset, strains of Kay Kyser crooning "On a Slow Boat to China" greeting their ears.

They stopped in the candy shop, in which, despite the purchases in a similar shop the day before, Daniel found himself buying Vala a veritable Hallowe'en night's worth of loot. The candy shop led directly into the Villians shop (which now seemed more of a Pirates of the Caribbean and Nightmare Before Christmas shop). He automatically bought Vala a "Pirate Stitch" plushie for the collection he'd started for her. For himself, he bought a sizable (and pricey) statue of Jack Skellington dipping Sally. Vala liked it a lot -- though she had no idea who the characters were. There was some brow-raising when the others realised he wasn't buying it for her.

"Wha-aat? It was a good movie!" he insisted. He refused to admit aloud that the pairing reminded him somewhat of Vala and himself: Sally was something of an irascible escape artist, and Skellington had been oblivious to Sally's affections because he'd been too involved in his studies. Things had worked out for the Pumpkin King and his girl; he hoped he and Vala would be equally lucky. Suddenly he wished he'd thought to show the film to Vala; he promised himself he'd do just that as soon as they got back....

Mitchell smiled like the Cheshire Cat at Daniel's protest, while Cassandra and her friends giggled. Even Teal'c couldn't hide his amusement. When they all finally turned away, Daniel made the "squishing your head" motion behind their backs, forgetting that Vala and the clerk were still watching. Clearing his throat and pretending he'd done nothing odd at all, he filled out the form for sending the packages to the hotel.

As he did, a sparkle in the glass case below him caught his eye. It was a pink rhinestone "Pirate Princess" watch. He glanced at Vala -- she'd wandered off to chat with Cassandra. He finished the form, then paid for the watch, asking the clerk to remove the price and not to bother with a bag. Trying hard to keep a straight face, he came up behind Vala, box behind his back, and tapped her on the shoulder. She smiled at him as she turned, cocking her head quizzically.

"I know this is a bit late," he told her as he brought the box forward, "but Happy Birthday."

Eyes wide, she reached out hesitantly to touch the box, as if it would dissolve upon contact. Gingerly, she finally took and opened it. Her eyes sparkled like the gems on her new timepiece. Then, in direct opposition with the fragile demeanor she'd displayed just a moment before, she threw her arms around him with a squeal of delight, threatening to crack a rib, maybe even realign his spine. He laughed as he removed her hat and kissed the top of her head. Catching sight of the others, he coughed self-consciously, fussing for a moment as he returned the hat to its perch. He then took the watch from the box and removed the cheap watch she currently wore, putting it in the now-empty box and slipping the package into her purse. He kissed her bared pulse-point and, with sensual deliberateness, fastened the new timepiece around her delicate wrist. When he met her eyes again, she captured his lips with a soft thank-you. When they drew apart, they found the Chipmunks and Goofy giggling silently at them from one of the doorways.

Once the group left the shop, they made their lazy way down the street to its end, ignoring the shops on the other side for the time being. Jack and Sam caught up with them along the way. Out of the corner of his eye, Daniel noted that Vala seemed tempted to snag something from the fruit stand, but, perhaps remembering her earlier slip with the feather boa, Steeled her shoulders, seeming all the more determined to behave. She managed to keep her southpaw to herself (her other hand firmly occupied by Daniel's). He pondered whether to say he was proud of her for her restraint, but decided it might upset her to know he knew she'd been tempted, so kept the thought to himself.

Hungry as everyone was, they put off breakfast in favor of getting two of the park's biggest attractions out of the way. They got a Fastpass for the Rockin' Roller Coaster, then headed next door, to the Twilight Zone Tower of Terror.

Frankly, this first ride of the day was _not_ one of Daniel's favourites. If Vala hadn't been there, he would have taken the chicken exit after the pre-show (in which Disney had quite convincingly made an introductory spiel using footage of the late Rod Sterling). Not that he didn't appreciate the special effects of the ride -- it was quite impressive (and more than a little creepy) how they'd made it seem as if one were in a hall that slowly dissolved into outer space. But the ride was also pretty short, and the falling of the elevator they rode in bothered his stomach. And, oh joy of joys, thanks to the ride's randomizer, which chose how many drops each individual elevator car would take and how far it would fall, they got four long drops -- no short ones whatsoever! _One_ drop was _more_ than enough in his book. He thought he pulled something, his muscles were so tense.

Vala, of course, adored the ride, and immediately wanted to do it again -- as did, it seemed, everyone else. And early as it was, they in fact had time enough to do so before they could use their Fastpasses for the roller coaster. Daniel told them to go on without him; he'd wait by the photo-collection area, wanting to get a copy of their "trip" for Vala's scrapbook. (When he saw the look on his face in the picture, though, he almost wished he _hadn't_ decided to buy it ...) He had the picture, and a plushie of Stitch dressed as a bellhop, sent back to their hotel. Then he waited on a bench just outside the exit for them.

"I just don't get it!" Sam was saying as they got out. "We shouldn't be floating off the seat like that!"

"Why not?" Vala asked. "The elevator's heavier than us, right?"

"Yeah, but that doesn't actually matter. Save for wind resistance -- which we didn't have, being _inside_ the elevator -- gravity pulls at everything at the same rate. If you put a feather and an anvil in an airless vacuum and dropped them both from the same height at the same time, the bottom of the feather and the bottom of the anvil would reach the ground at the same moment. So our backsides should never have lost contact with the bench!"

Cassandra's friend, Peri, glanced at her, bemused. "I thought you were supposed to be an honest-to-Goddess rocket scientist!"

Sam stopped and scowled. "I _am_."

Jack visibly bristled at Peri.

Oblivious to the sudden hostility most of the party was aiming her way, Peri rolled her eyes. "The answer is obvious: the elevator doesn't _fall_ ," she informed them, walking on.

Daniel was distracted from his desire to wipe the smirk off the girl's face by the act of trying to decipher the girl's statement. Of _course_ the elevator fell -- you couldn't fake what they'd just gone through!

"What, are you saying it was all some sort of _hologram_?" Mitchell asked as they started to follow after the girl and her friends.

"Heh, I don't think Disney's gotten quite _that_ good yet," Peri said over her shoulder.

Daniel and the rest of SG-1 shared significant looks. Maybe Disney hadn't gotten that advanced, but SG-1 had certainly encountered races with technology that _was_....

Sam, meanwhile, had been staring at the back of the girl's head in concentration. Daniel found himself wondering if she was trying to use psychokinesis to make the girl's head explode, before Sam let out a loud, sharp, "Oh, _God_!"

Her companions tensed for a moment, eyes scanning the crowd for danger, until she started laughing.

Peri glanced back, smiling, and the rest of SG-1 had the distinct impression the two women were sharing some private joke.

"Ya mind sharing what's so funny with the rest of us?" Jack asked when Sam caught her breath.

"The elevator _doesn't_ fall -- it's _pulled_ down, by _hydraulics_ \-- _faster than gravity_! Geez, way to think outside the box, Samantha," she chided herself, shaking her head.

As they all went on their way again, Daniel was considerably less amused. A quick glance told him the other members of SG-1 were in agreement. Vala mimicked Daniel's earlier motion from in the Villains shop, pretending to squish Peri's head from behind. Daniel reached out and took her hand, hoping the others wouldn't ask her where she'd picked that up from.

Daniel really liked the preshow for the Rockin' Roller Coaster, which was made up to look like the riders were touring a recording studio. There was a window looking in on a sound booth, with a screen on the far wall -- only the other screen was made to seem like another window, looking in on the controls for the booth. The premise was that the band Aerosmith was just wrapping up a recording session, and had to hurry off to a concert, but didn't want to leave the fans who'd come to tour the studio high and dry, so they asked their manager to give the riders backstage passes and get a limo to take them to the show. Daniel found himself able to suspend his disbelief just enough to delude himself, for a moment, into believing he was actually in the presence of the band.

Vala, of course, had no idea who any of the band members were, though she let out a happy squeal when Daniel informed her that the lead singer, Steven Tyler, was Arwen actress Liv Tyler's real-life dad -- she'd seen the _Lord of the Rings_ trilogy, of course. Daniel made a mental note to take her to one of Aerosmith's concerts at the soonest opportunity, and in the meantime show her his copy of the _Big Ones_ music video collection. He figured he could listen to the music while she watched it in his office (it never even occurring to him that she could watch it in her room instead).

The loading area for the coaster was made to look like they were waiting in a back alley. The cars for the coaster were made to look like a convertible stretch limo. The ride itself was like speeding down the streets through the blackest of nights, with brightly-lit streets signs guiding the way and Aerosmith tunes blasting in the riders' ears. The riders couldn't see the track hardly at all, and, unlike in Space Mountain, there were loop-de-loops and corkscrews. The fact that Daniel had to keep his glasses in Vala's purse just served to make the experience even scarier -- and he loved it!

He wished they could go on _it_ again, as it was his favorite attraction at the Studios, but the line was already over an hour long when they got out. In fact, the ride was so popular that, if they got another Fastpass for it, they wouldn't be able to get any other passes until one-thirty in the afternoon! He did get another photo for Vala's scrapbook, at least -- although he felt he looked like even more of a dork in this one than he had in the one for the Tower of Terror ....

Though their stomachs seemed to be singing a hungry chorus at that point, when Peri suggested they get The Voyage of the Little Mermaid out of the way, Sam and Daniel, being park veterans themselves, had to agree that doing so was the best use of time management, since Mermaid's first show was at 9:45, and the rest of the stage shows didn't start till after 11 am. Knowing how much Vala had enjoyed the movie _The Little Mermaid_ , Daniel definitely wanted her to see the puppet-and-laser-laden rendition, and since they would likely be too busy to see it later in the day, he was willing to suffer his hunger a while longer. Besides, he liked the show. Mitchell and O'Niell seemed far less eager for it, complaining even louder than their stomachs, so Sam sent them on a mission to get Fastpasses for Lights, Motors, Action! To Daniel's surprise, Teal'c opted to stay with the girls to see Ariel and her friends. To his greater surprise, Teal'c sang along to "Under the Sea" during the show. A bit later in the performance, Vala grabbed Daniel's arm tightly and looked about wildly as Ursula the sea witch threatened the theatre. And she snuggled against him as Ariel was reunited with her prince. Daniel rest his head against the top of hers and wished the show were a bit longer.

* * *

An odd sense of deja vu settled over Daniel as they sat in the "Hollywood and Vine" diner, eating breakfast. Once again, a restaurant he had enjoyed had been altered into a "Character Buffet". Like at the Crystal Palace, though, he felt his annoyance at the presence of said characters dissipate as he watched Vala interact with them. He even got roped into playing "interpreter", deciphering the various characters' pantomimes for his party (not his idea -- everyone just kept looking at him expectantly, even the characters once they caught on), though it was usually painfully obvious what the costumed players were "saying".

They bypassed the Indiana Jones Epic Stunt Spectacular with the intention of returning later. The walkway rounded a curve; when they passed the midpoint of the turn, Vala stopped short abruptly, eyes wide, and looked around like she was searching for a place to hide. She then rolled her eyes, relaxing, then common sense apparently having caught up with her. Of _course_ the four-legged metal beast standing a hundred yards away wasn't a _real_ AT-AT.

Daniel grinned at her reaction. He'd brought the original Star Wars trilogy videos to the base one day with the intent of keeping her out of his hair for a bit while he worked. His plan had only half-succeeded. She'd insisted on watching it on the TV in his office, and he'd kept finding himself watching it with her. Other people who stopped by with reports had gotten sucked in as well. Teal'c, Sam, and Mitchell had eventually shown up -- with popcorn, no less. Now Daniel saw in Vala's face an echo of how he'd felt the first time he'd seen the outside of Star Tours, a ride set in the Star Wars universe. Though the AT-AT was only about a third of the size a "real" one was supposed to be, and the Ewok village beside it was much closer to the ground than in the films, it was all still very impressive, bringing the film to life. He couldn't wait for her to see the _inside_ of the attraction -- but that would have to wait.

He felt a pang of sadness as they passed the gift shop, Tatooine Traders. He preferred the look of the former shop, Endor Vendors -- partially because the new shop reminded him a little too much of Abydos, and the life he'd led for such a short time with Sha're. A gentle squeeze by Vala's hand in his reminded him he needed to look ahead -- in more ways than one.

They paused at the Sci-Fi Dine-In Theater and made reservations for dinner, Daniel promising Vala that she was going to love it but refusing to tell her anything more about it when she asked.

That done, they stopped in the book-and-stationary shop around the corner, where Daniel bought Vala some Hollywood-themed pages for her scrapbook. As he paid, Vala told him that she would pay him back for the pages when she finally got a paycheck. He glanced up at her in surprise.

"But it's not like you _asked_ for them!" he protested. "I just wanted you to have them!" He only half had his attention on the form for the hotel delivery, which he suspected he could fill out in his sleep by now.

"And I do want to have them," Vala assured him. "But I ... I _have_ a job now, Daniel. You don't need to treat me like a _charity case_." She bit her lip and turned away, looking miserable.

Paperwork done, he drew her off to the side. Their companions, in a rare moment of courtesy, pointedly ignored them.

"Hey, what's up?" he asked. "There was a time when you wouldn't have hesitated to ask me to buy you something!" he half-laughed. _...If you hadn't already filched it, that is...._

She looked pained. "Do I still seem like _that_ Vala?"

"Er ... no?" He wasn't entirely sure what she meant, but sensed he was treading in dangerous territory. He wished the university had had courses on how to speak "female".

"You didn't _like_ that Vala," she whispered. " _I_ didn't like her," she added as he tried to protest. "And you know what? I _do_ like being useful and independent -- but I _don't_ like feeling helpless -- o-or like a _burden_. I worked really hard for Sal, to make up for all he'd done for me -- and I'm going to work just as hard for SGC!" she promised.

Daniel felt like he'd been punched in the gut. He hadn't realised just how much her abduction had affected her. What he'd taken for greed in her all this time ... what if it was really just some sort of survival instinct, a manifestation of her sense of self-preservation? A desire to be in control of her own life, especially after Qetesh had stolen even basic decision-making abilities from her for so long? Now that Vala had a stable home and family again, of course her priorities had changed! She wanted to _belong_ \-- and she would do anything to protect what she'd fought so hard to obtain.

"Come here," he whispered, drawing her into his arms. "You don't owe us _anything_ , Vala. What we give, we give because we _want_ to. That's how it works with friends -- with _family_. We do things for each other because we care about one another and want each other to be happy. In fact, I confess I have my own ... _selfish_ reasons for buying you things."

She drew away from him, her eyes wet under a skeptical brow. "How's that?"

"I want to see you smile."

And she did.

He leaned his forehead against hers. "Ah, there we go. Worth every penny."

After the shop was the New York section of Streets of America. Vala marveled at the massive back-drop at one end, which gave the illusion that the street went on much farther than it did. Teal'c asked them all to pose before it, revealing that he had a tiny digital camera in his possession.

"I didn't know you had one of those!" Mitchell remarked as they moved on. "How come you haven't taken any other pictures this weekend?"

"I bought it online, with assistance from GeneralLandry," Teal'c told him. "And I _have_ been using it, ColonelMitchell. I simply prefer to take more natural shots of people, rather than posed ones."

Daniel wondered if they should be worried over any shots he'd caught of them when they weren't looking.

"So why ask us to pose for _that_ one?" Cam asked, gesturing with a thumb back the way they'd come.

"For ValaMalDoran's scrapbook," Teal'c replied. 

Vala beamed, while Daniel nodded his thanks, touched. Teal'c bowed his head at them in welcome, smiling.

Having taken a bit too long in getting there, they ended up sitting in the "nosebleed" section of the Lights, Motors, Action! Extreme Stunt Show. Daniel really, really hated those seats, primarily because the stadium was set at an extreme incline, and there were too many huge gaps in the guide-rails of the stairs. It was a very dizzying experience just getting up there -- and the climb down the stairs in the back when it was over would be no picnic either, he knew. For now, though, he enjoyed the show itself well enough, even if racing and exploding cars were really more Sam, Jack, and Mitchell's bag -- and, apparently, Vala's. Daniel's favourite part was the appearance of Herbie the Love Bug, whom he'd adored as a child, but it took some explaining to Vala and Teal'c just who -- or what -- Herbie _was_.

"A car that's _alive_? I thought you Tau--er, that there were no successful AI in existence?" Vala said carefully.

Teal'c stared at Daniel expectantly.

"Well, no, Herbie's not _really_ alive -- and he's not an AI, either. It's just ... _pretend_!"

Vala and Teal'c exchanged looks that clearly said _These Tau'ri are very, very insane_ , leaving Daniel feeling exceptionally silly.


	2. Chapter 2

After the show, they went down the other side of Streets of America, passing by the giant backdrop portraying San Francisco. Behind it, Daniel knew, was the stage area that had once housed the Hunchback of Notre Dame stage show, which he had seen so many times he'd lost count. It was a shame, really, that Vala couldn't see it now -- he thought she'd be able to relate to Esmeralda almost as well as she related to Stitch.

They passed Al's Toy Barn and the Christmas shop and, with a bit of effort, Pizza Planet, Daniel promising Vala that the next time they came, they'd stop there for lunch. Her smile when she realised that he was, in fact, promising to bring her back to the World someday, could have powered the Stargate, he reckoned.

They reached a square with a crazy Muppet-covered fountain, which of course marked the entrance to Muppetvision 3-D. He wished he'd gotten a chance to introduce her to the Muppets before their trip, but she seemed to enjoy that film (and the stuff happening in the theatre peripherals) well enough even without having a clue as to who anyone was. For Daniel's part, he'd grown up watching _The Muppet Show_ , as well as its later incarnations, so it always gave his inner child a little thrill to be in a replica of the theatre, complete with the hecklers in their balcony, the penguin orchestra up front, the Swedish Chef running the projector, and the monster, Sweetums, running around the theatre looking for Bean Bunny. Vala got a big kick out of the 3-D effects, as well as the falling bubbles during Miss Piggy's musical number. She also admonished the pig for threatening the cute little bunny. Daniel had to take the glasses off her as they exited the theatre; she pouted as he placed them in a return-bin outside.

She smiled again when he bought her a little Bean plushie. Daniel didn't skimp on himself, though -- he just _had_ to have a stunning statue of Kermit sitting on a log, like the frog had been plucked right out of _The Muppet Movie_. Not only was the Kermit life-size, he was fuzzy!

"You know, Jackson, I'm seeing a whole new side of you, " Mitchell teased. Daniel bristled, until he realised Mitchell was buying Animal and Dr. Teeth plushies. "I already have Rowlf and Janet," Mitchell told him. The something else caught the pilot's eye. "Oooh, Pigs in Space!"

Daniel grinned, remembering the _Muppet Show_ episode with Luke Skywalker and his "cousin", Mark Hamill.

"Is that like 'Pigs in a Blanket'?" Vala asked, licking her lips.

They grabbed more Fastpasses as they came upon Star Tours again, then hurried back over to the Indiana Jones Epic Stunt Spectacular. Though the stadium was very large, the incline wasn't nearly as steep as the one for Lights, Motors, Action!, thankfully. They found seats about halfway down, on the far right, which is where Daniel usually sat: not only did it offer a better view of the show's final stunt sequence, it also, thanks to the curve of the stadium, allowed one a good view of the _audience_. He scanned the crowd for someone sporting a blindingly-loud shirt -- and actually found _two_ such individuals. He saw Sam looking about, and realised she was doing the same thing.

"There, by the pillar, and there, over by the guy with the goofy hat," he told her. "Which one is it, do you think?"

"Which one what?" Vala asked.

"Never mind," Daniel and Sam told her simultaneously.

Hurt flashed in Vala's eyes, before her calm and cool mask slid back into place. Daniel moaned inwardly. He debated telling her what was up after all, but she was already engaging Cassandra, who sat in front of her, in conversation, so he let it go. He quietly wagered with Sam over the fellows in the loud shirts.

The show's premise was that it was filming actual scenes from _Raiders of the Lost Arc_ , complete with a director and camera crew. But before the show was ready to begin, one of the crew selected members from the audience to be "extras". She had the people she selected do all sorts of silly things in preparation for their roles. At one point, she asked the audience for a screamer.

The blood-curdling scream that blasted in Daniel's ear nearly gave him a heart-attack. The rapid, erratic beat of his heart didn't show any signs of letting up when Vala was selected. He tried to grab hold of her hand, but, seated as she had been at the very end of the row, she was already running down the stairs. He was about to chase after her when Sam grabbed the back of his shirt, nearly choking him.

"Don't cause a scene!" she admonished.

"Don't cause a--? _I think it's a bit late for that!_ " he hissed.

"Come on, Daniel, what could happen?" Her tone was a warning not to say anything more before Cassandra's friends -- especially Peri -- started wondering what the problem was. For all they knew, there wasn't a reason in the world Vala shouldn't go up to the stage like any other person in the audience.

Daniel tried to swallow back his fears as the woman on the stage asked Vala where she was from.

"Cheyenne Mountain, Colorado!" Vala told the woman cheerfully.

Daniel moaned, burying his face in his hands.

"And what do you do there?"

Daniel braced himself, certain she was going to say, "I help keep Earth safe from alien invasion!"

"I'm a research assistant for an archaeologist!" she replied instead.

Daniel was astonished. It was the truth, after a fashion, and yet it wasn't a security breach either. She could have said anything, really; the fact that she had chosen _that_ of all things -- being his "assistant" -- sent warm tingles down his spine.

"Ooooh, so you work for a real-life Indiana Jones!" the woman chirped.

He tensed; Vala had no idea who Indiana Jones even was!

"Yup! And he's even more handsome than Mr. Ford!" Vala said smoothly, looking directly at him.

Daniel stared back, openmouthed.

Mitchell, sitting a few seats down the same row, bent forward far enough to look him over appraisingly. "Eh, there's no accounting for taste." He winked.

"So I guess we have to call him 'Indy' now?" Jack remarked to Sam.

"I'm sure he'd like it better than 'Space Monkey'," she replied. She nudged Daniel playfully. "I lent Vala the trilogy a while back," she added quietly. "I also told her that the movies were based on _you_."

He turned his head so fast her felt the burn of a pulled muscle. "You _what_?"

"Shhhhh," she told him. "We're about to find out who won the bet!" The woman on the stage chose the loud shirt near the Goofy hat. "Pay up," Sam demanded, holding out her hand.

Sighing heavily, he pulled out his wallet.

The bulk of the audience spent much of the show on the edge of their seats, tense; Daniel was no exception, though he was tense for an entirely different reason. Still, Vala did well in her "role" (and Teal'c took plenty of snapshots for her). The "extras" portion of the show was nearing its end, and he was starting to relax.

He should have known better.

The "Marilyn" stunt-double had pulled the extra in the loud shirt aside and started a demonstration with him. She punched him -- and he stumbled, as if the punch had connected. She apologised -- and did it again. Again, he stumbled, and motioned that he didn't want her to continue. She kneed him, then gave him an uppercut that literally sent him flying head-over-heels, backwards.

The rest seemed to happen in slow motion.

Vala was already across the stage when Daniel started to rise to his feet, the first syllable of her name just starting to pass his lips. The stunt-woman was down on the ground, Vala's foot on her throat, by the time the second syllable ended.

Peri turned and reached up, yanking him down by his shirt. She turned back and nodded to someone on the stage, who nodded back. That person came forward and took Vala's hand, raising it high -- and leading her forward a step, towards the audience, getting her foot off of her opponent's throat. The loud shirt-man was already on his feet and helping the stunt-woman to hers.

"Ladies and gentlemen, let's give a big hand to our stunt actors!" said the man holding Vala's hand.

The stunt man took Vala's other hand with his left, while holding the stunt-woman's hand with his right, and raise both arms. The stunt people bowed, making Vala bow with them. They let go and waved to the crowd. The extras were herded off the stage, Vala and the undercover stunt-man/extra with them.

"Don't worry, everything will be fine," Peri told him quietly but firmly. "Just stay put." She rose and left the stadium.

"Half her family works here," Cassandra explained. "I think that one guy is her uncle."

Daniel fought the urge to go looking for her anyway; the wait for the show to end was torturous. Then, finally, it _did_ end, but they still had to wait. The stadium was nearly empty by the time Vala returned, looking sheepish, perhaps even a little afraid.

Daniel didn't wait for her, to come up, hurrying down the steps to her, nearly crushing her in his arms. "I am _soooo_ sorry!" he breathed into her thick black mane.

She'd been tense when he'd grabbed her, but relaxed a little at his words. "You're not angry?" she asked in a small, high voice.

"Nooo, no, you didn't do anything wrong!" he told her soothingly, stroking her shoulders with his thumbs. "I'm _proud_ that you would stand up for someone like that -- it's not your fault you didn't know it was all a part of the show! I should have told you when you asked what Sam and I were talking about, but I wanted you to be surprised!"

"Y-you _knew_ what was going to happen?" she asked, sounding thoroughly embarrassed.

"Er, well, I've seen the show before," he explained.

"And _most_ people have enough common sense to be able to tell when something's staged like that," Peri added, looking supremely irritated. "You're lucky I was able to vouch for her...."

By then the others had come down the bleachers as well -- which was lucky for _Peri_ , else Daniel might have given in to sudden, violent urges ....

They had a while to go before their Star Tours Fastpasses would expire, so Daniel suggested they stop at Gertie's for some ice cream. Daniel expected Vala to cheer up at the thought of a snack, but when he asked her what she wanted, she just shrugged. He ordered her a Toll-House ice cream sandwich, same as he was having. They found seats further down Echo Lake, the small body of water that Gertie the Dinosaur was standing at the edge of. Vala ate her treat slowly and methodically, eyes downcast the whole while. Daniel told her a little about Gertie's history as the first-ever animated character, and, when that didn't catch her interest, told her a bit about dinosaurs. No reaction, not even to tell him to stop boring her. It broke his heart. He looked to Sam, feeling helpless, but all she did was shrug, looking worried.

They went into the Sounds Dangerous audio show, and, with marked relief, he heard her laugh now and then at the antics of Drew Carey. When the show was over, he encouraged her to try some of the sound effects games in the next room with him; she started to cheer up, especially with Mitchell egging her on. Then Daniel took her into one of the "3-D Sound" booths with Sam and Jack, where they listened to another audio show, this time in the dark. Daniel had always loved the booths -- the audio effects made the listener feel like the things in the story were really happening to them. He wished he could see Vala's face, but was satisfied with the look of delight she wore when the lights came back up.

"That was _amazing_ ," she gushed. "It really felt like they were cutting and drying my hair! And when the arrow whizzed past my head, I caught myself feeling around on the wall behind me for it for a second!"

"Isn't it great? That's actually one of my very favorite things here!" he confided, drawing her close with an arm around her shoulders, and kissing her hair. She leaned comfortably into him, snaking her arm around his waist.

They stayed that way as they entered the Fastpass queue for Star Tours. The downside to the Fastpass line was that they couldn't really take the time to enjoy all the sights the line had to offer, but at least Vala got a glimpse. The first room was set up like some sort of intergalactic airport, with a screen that showed departures and arrivals from Yavin, Tatooine, Hoth, Dagobah, and the Moon of Endor. High in one corner was a control room with Mon Calamarians within it. A shuttle was being repaired by Artoo Deetoo, with See-Threepio harassing him and whinging to the passing tourists. Daniel found he actually preferred this waiting area to the ride itself -- and he liked the ride fairly well! The next room had robots making repairs and chatting (albeit one-sidedly), with the tourists while luggage and spare parts went by on conveyor belts at varying heights. Just before the loading are, two bird-like robots started down at those passing under them, reminding Daniel vaguely of the vultures in Splash Mountain. Which was silly, since he knew the birds were _actually_ the innards of the _raven_ animatronics from the Haunted Mansion.

The ride itself was a trip to the Moon of Endor gone wrong, it supposedly being the robot pilot's first day on the job. The "shuttle" was a virtual simulator -- meaning it spun and rocked but never actually went anywhere. Still, what motion it did have, couple with the film playing on the shuttle's "window", tricked the riders' brains into feeling as if they really were falling inside the hanger bay. Couple that with the flashing lights that mimicked electricity going through the shuttle and the vibrations of supposed impacts, and suspension of disbelief was fairly easy to come by -- enough so that Vala quietly asked Daniel if they'd really gone somewhere. Oh, not into outer space, of course, just if the vehicle was on a roller-coaster track. He assured her that the vehicle hadn't gone anywhere -- but did move in place.

He also assured her that she wasn't the first to wonder if it _did_ "go somewhere", especially since there were similar rides that _did_ move on a track. He made another mental note to take her on the Spider-Man ride at Universal Islands of Adventure someday. She still seemed down on herself, though, so he added that _most_ people were also _certain_ that the stretching room in the Magic Kingdom's Haunted Mansion was an elevator that took riders underground, when in fact it was the ceiling that went up, not the floor that went down. It was Disney's intent to build successful illusions; people were _expected_ to believe in them. She happily reported she'd actually figured that one out on her own.

"Now at Disney _land_ , though, it _is_ an elevator, because they had to put the ride underground. But when they built the ride here, they were able to put it all _above_ -ground," he continued, surprised at how she hung on his every word.

Well, she did until she was distracted by all the Star Wars goodies in the gift shop, at any rate. Truth be told, he found himself just as enthralled by the shop's wares.

Each member of SG-1 walked out of Tatooine Traders with a toy lightsaber -- not any of the super-expensive showpieces, but the simple plastic ones that expanded from the handle with the flick of a wrist. Teal'c had gone for Darth Maul's double-sided red saber, Mitchell for Darth Vader's single-bladed red, Daniel for Luke's green saber from _Return of the Jedi_ , Vala for Mace Windu's purple one (of course), and Sam and Jack both chose the original blue saber Luke had inherited from Anakin. Daniel imagined their basketball games were going to be preempted by play with their new toys for a while. He just hoped they would show some restraint in the _park_ , since they hadn't opted to have the things sent back to the hotel....

He did buy a couple of things that _were_ sent to the hotel, though: he enlisted Sam's help in distracting Vala again while he purchased Princess Leia and Han Solo costumes. Surely there would be some Hallowe'en event they could wear them to, _some_ where -- leastwise, that was the justification he gave himself. Maybe he would even take her to a sci-fi convention ... or come back to the park for one of their Star Wars Weekends the next summer....

* * *

They went down Commissary Lane and stopped in the ABC Commissary for lunch. The place was always insanely crowded, so when they found enough seats together, they had Cassandra and her friends act as guards while they got their food. They left their lightsabers at the table, Mitchell handing his to Cassandra with instructions to whack-a-mole anyone who tried to take one of their chairs. Peri rolled her eyes.

After lunch, they went on to the replica of Grauman's Chinese Theatre -- or, more specifically, The Great Movie Ride, which was housed within the building. Vala squealed excitedly when she saw the case holding the ruby slippers from _The Wizard of Oz_ in the first room of the queue.

When the queue split in two, she heard Daniel ask the cast member standing there to place them in the "gangster" line. Vala asked Daniel what he'd meant; he wasn't going to tell her at first, but, remembering the Indiana Jones fiasco, thought better of it. He explained how the ride was like a tour through the movies, and that, at one point, the tour guide was forced at gunpoint to leave, while a gangster from one of the movies used their tour vehicle as a getaway car. He added that the other line featured an outlaw from the old west, but for some reason he always detested that version.

"Aww, you shouldn't have told her!" Jack complained. "I wanted to see how she would react!"

Daniel allowed himself to imagine exactly that -- and, more importantly, what the poor gangster actor's reaction would have been after Vala unleashed a little kung-fu-fighting on him ....

Having been on the ride countless times, Daniel was happy to keep most of his focus on Vala as she gaped and grinned through each movie scene. She winked conspiratorially at the gangster when he commandeered their moving theatre vehicle. When the audio-animatronic Clint Eastwood seemed to nod at her, she nodded back, reflexively (Daniel had found himself doing that himself on previous visits). Then Vala turned her attention to the animatronic on the other side of the ride, and caused Daniel to laugh out loud when she told him that there was something she didn't like about "that fellow". He never really liked John Wayne either.

Daniel, Sam, and Jack all snickered when Vala, Cameron, and Teal'c jumped and yelped at the sudden appearance of an alien in the _Nostromos_ section.

"You Tau'ri make hideously ugly ships, you know that?" Vala whispered in his ear a moment later, setting his skin on fire.

"Blame H. R. Giger," he whispered back at her, turning towards her as he spoke -- and finding his lips just an inch from hers.

"Oh, _get a **room**_ , people!" Mitchell, who was seated behind them with Teal'c, demanded, rolling his eyes even as he grinned, only teasing.

Teal'c tried to hide his own grin behind his tiny camera, which Daniel noticed was in filming mode rather than snapshot. Then he realised Teal'c was aiming it at _them_ , rather than the ride.

Coughing and facing forward, he wondered if it was worth risking his life to filch the camera from the Jaffa while the warrior slept, and erase the footage.

"Oh, you must feel right at home here, Daniel!" Vala remarked when they entered the _Raiders of the Lost Arc_ portion of the ride.

"I'd be lying if I said this film didn't influence my decision to get into archaeology," he confessed. "Though I'd have to say that, these days, my enjoyment's not what it was, now that we know a bit more of the real history behind beings like him," he added, pointing to one of the statues of Anubis. He glanced at the animatronic of Harrison Ford. "So ... more handsome than him, huh?" he asked, gesturing with his head while smoothly slipping an arm around her shoulder.

"Oh yeah, no contest!" she assured him, laying her head on his shoulder. She grinned at the snort that came from behind them. "Jealous, Mitchell?"

"Nah, it's just that Jackson's head's gotten so big I can't see anything anymore ...."

The gangster stopped the ride for the next part of the show. He raced up the steps on the side of a giant, seated statue of Anubis that bore a glowing jewel on its breast. An Egyptian "priest" told him to halt, but he didn't listen. He touched the gem; there was a flash of smoke, and when it cleared, the criminal was replaced by a tattered skeleton, while the priest revealed himself to be their tour guide.

Daniel caught Vala looking longingly at the gem. Old habits die hard, he supposed, even if people themselves died easily. Then he considered how often he and Vala had "died" only to come back or survive nearly-mortal wounds, and decided maybe people didn't die so easily after all. Despite the morbidity of it, the thought made him smile.

The smile became considerably more upbeat when they reached the _Wizard of Oz_ bit of the ride, and Vala started whirling her head around, trying to take all the sights of Munchkinland in at once.

"Look, Daniel! There's the poor Witch of the East, smooshed under Dorothy's house!"

"Yup! -- Wait, _poor_ Witch of the East?" He turned to her, confused.

There was a flash of smoke, and the Wicked Witch of the West appeared, pointing an accusing finger at the tour guide of the theatre-car ahead of them.

"Elphaba!!" Vala cheered.

" _Who_?" Daniel asked.

Vala gave him an exasperated look. "Honestly, Daniel, don't you _read_? That's Elphaba, the Witch of the West!"

When he recovered from her accusing him of not reading, he remarked, "I don't recall the Wicked Witch of the West having a name...."

"She's _not_ wicked! She's just misunderstood -- like me!" Vala pouted.

Sam poked him in the side before he could get himself into more trouble. "You're going to have to read _Wicked_ when you get home," she told him.

"And then we should go to the Broadway show!" Vala added.

Daniel bent forward and asked Jack, "Do _you_ know what they're talking about??"

"Yeah, Greg Maguire's book," he said nonchalantly.

"Yeah, which you never _finished_ ," Sam snorted.

Peri, having heard the whole exchange, asked Cassandra, "Soooo, do you give your family a pop-culture handicap when you play Trivial Pursuit or what?" 

Cassandra's entire "family" shot daggers from their eyes at the girl.

They head on over to the Animation Courtyard next, and took the animation tour. Vala was fascinated to learn more about how the exclusively-Tau'rian artform worked. Daniel just found himself lamenting the loss of most of Disney's 2-D animators in favor of having almost-exclusively computer-generated animation. Not that he didn't like _Toy Story_ or _Finding Nemo_ or the rest of Pixar's fare, but ... well, it wasn't something he could put into words. And maybe he was being stubborn, but rather than leaving him excited for upcoming projects, the tour now just left him feeling sad, like the world had lost something important....

Of course, if the Ori won, it would be a moot point.

He staggered mentally against a tsunami of fear and dread that had built up while he'd spent the last day and a half pretending his problems didn't exist. Vala seemed to sense his sudden down-swing. She took his hand and dragged him all around the gift shop, cooing over the many beautiful paintings and statues of Disney characters, both old and new. If his worries were an ocean, threatening to overwhelm and drown him, her smile was a dazzling sun that miraculously evaporated it all. If that sun ever set ... well, he'd just have to make damn sure it never did.

They moved on to Mickey Avenue, bypassing the former location of the One Man's Dream theatre, which had housed a short tour and film about Walt Disney -- Sam and Daniel didn't even notice the door wasn't there anymore. While it might have been educational, it was also likely to put half their party to sleep, so they hadn't even considered going in. On the other hand, if it had still been around, and they'd gone through it, the next attraction they ran across would have woken them up...

It was a "Wormhole X-Treme" ride.

"Holy ..." Daniel breathed.

Cameron finished with something that caused a nearby mother to glare at him.

Sam stood shaking her head in disbelief. "How come we haven't heard about this?"

"It's not open to the public yet," Peri told them, getting off her cell phone and pointing to the line of small potted trees that only partially hid the ride's entrance from view. "My folks, my brother, and one of my aunts will be here in a minute, though. We're in luck -- today is a 'Cast Preview' day, and every Cast Member can get up to three people in!"

"'Cast member'?" Vala asked out of the corner of her mouth.

"It's what Disney calls all their employees," Sam whispered.

Peri's family members, who were apparently all in management, showed up a few minutes later and got them in. To Daniel's relief, nothing was said by the girl or any of her family about the stunt show mishap. They followed the queue, which went through a somewhat-replica of SGC, and were eventually herded into an elevator that took them "down" into the "base". From there, they were led into an almost-replica of SGC's briefing room. There they watched a video-presentation for new "recruits". They were taught, in very simple terms, how the Wormhole worked. They were then told that they would be completing their mission to another world from within the safety of a "gatehopper", which, on the outside, looked suspiciously like a puddlejumper.

The next room was a "gatehopper hanger", where they were loaded into the vehicle. Waiting for them inside was a live human being -- a "pilot". The ride itself was similar in concept to Start Tours -- that is, it was a virtual simulator. While they watched a screen that was supposedly a window, their vehicle was driven into the "Wormhole room", then "flown" through said Wormhole. Their mission was to find and destroy an enemy weapon. On the way, they: were attacked by some sort of monster; rescued some slaves; had a battle in space, where they successfully completed their mission; then circled back around while their systems were failing, making it back home but landing less than perfectly within their hanger. They exited on the opposite side of the ship, which was pretty blackened and smoky on that side. They walked through another hall of the "underground base" before taking another elevator back up. After another stretch of tunnel, they found the base's "supply room", which was actually the gift shop. For a lark, all of SG-1 bought "Wormhole X-Treme" patches for their BDUs, wondering of Landry would notice if they wore them in place of their team patches when they went on their next trip through the Stargate.

Daniel overheard Peri confide to Cassandra that she found their identical, gleeful grins unsettling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There isn't actually a Wormhole Extreme ride, but man, did I wish there was a Stargate ride, considering, in 2006, MGM, owner of the franchise, was still involved with the park! When they later withdrew, the park was renamed Hollywood Studios.
> 
> The Streets of America, the bookshop, the Backlot, the Honey I Shrunk the Kids Playground, and Lights, Motors, Action! are all gone now, and so is the band Mulch, Sweat, and Shears. Pizza Planet is now Pizzarizzo's.
> 
> Star Tours is now somewhat different -- the tour guide robot has been replaced by Threepio, and the film is now broken up into four segments,each segment having different films that play randomly, so the ride will likely be a bit different each time you ride (there's 54 possibilities). It's also now in 3D.


	3. Chapter 3

They bypassed the Backlot Tour and went straight to the Honey I Shrunk the Kids playground, which consisted of gigantic, soft rubber roots, leaves, stones, and the odd man-made object, like legos. All in all, it did a more than fair job making one feel like one was only an eighth of an inch tall. Or, well, maybe a quarter-inch tall, if one were an adult. They were a little big for some of the tunnels and such in the playground, but there were enough places they that they _could_ fit for them to _feel_ like children for a while. Daniel was worried about losing Vala at first, as they went about climbing and sliding and crawling, but she always stopped if she got too far ahead, and waited patiently for him to catch up, apparently not wanting to be separated from him any more than he wanted to be from her. They generally stayed closer together now than they had even with the Kor Mak bracelets! A half-hour later, they and their party collapsed at the tables just outside the exit, weary, soaked by sweat as well as water from an enormous water-hose, and trying to laugh but too breathless.

Daniel glanced at the red faces of his companions, tears of mirth streaming from their eyes, and couldn't recall the last time he'd felt so good, so happy. He was brimming with affection for his friends -- especially his _girl_ friend, of course. Deciding he needed an outlet for his joy before he burst, he grabbed hold of Vala and silenced her gasping laughter with his lips. She instinctively reached up and caressed his jaw with the long fingers of her left hand. He dug his own fingers into the back of her shirt to keep them from wandering inappropriately.

"If you two are so, uh, _hungry_ , maybe we should skedaddle off to dinner, see if they can get us in early?" Mitchell suggested after a long minute or three.

"Oh, right, we got our own reservations to get to!" Jack said, dragging Sam to her feet. "You kids mind Daniel, now; he's in charge," he called over his shoulder as they hurried on their way.

"What?" Cameron pouted. "But he's a _civilian_!"

"Right now, he's 'Daddy'," Cassandra corrected Cameron with a wink.

"I like the sound of that," Vala purred, trailing her nail along Daniel's neck.

Daniel made a show of listening to something off in the distance. "Hey, that's Mulch, Sweat, and Shears!" he exclaimed, quickly rising and dragging a somewhat-disappointed Vala along.

"Hey Jackson, is that sunburn on your neck, or are you blushin'?" Cameron called after, teasing. Daniel pretended not to hear.

When they got onto New York Street, they found a pick-up truck parked down the road with trailer hitches bearing plants, speakers, a drummer and his drum kit, and a keyboardist and his keyboards. In the street were two guitarists and a large man in a Hawaiian shirt with a mic. The tail-end of the last trailer read "Much, Sweat, and Shears", and had a few other words scattered around it. A rubber hose marked a loose boundary between them and the gawkers on the other side of the street; the performers frequently disregarded said boundary, though. A section of the crowd decided to move on, and Daniel hurriedly led his party to the vacancy.

"I like the music on this world," Vala yelled into Daniel's ear; there was no worry of anyone else hearing, as he could barely make out what she was saying himself. "I've never heard anything like it!"

Daniel knew she didn't mean the music being played right that moment; she'd heard music like it at the base, and while she lived at Sal's. It was just that Rock & Roll was apparently unique to the Tau'ri -- or so Teal'c had told Daniel once -- so it was still something of a novelty to Vala. He wondered how she would react to other Tau'ri music, but was half-afraid she'd be bored by the likes of classical or opera ....

Film was another Tau'rian novelty that had yet to lose its appeal for her, which was why he was eager for her to see their next destination, the Sci-Fi Dine-In Theater. When they arrived, a hostess led them down a hall with bare wood on one side, and signs that read "Closed Set" and other camera-crew lingo. People were coming down the same hall from the other direction, so they had to walk single file, Daniel in the lead. When they reached the end of the walkway and went around the corner of the wooden wall, he looked back at Vala, grinning at her perplexed expression. Teal'c, beyond her, look similarly flummoxed -- or at least as close to such a state as the Jaffa warrior ever evinced.

The room they found themselves in was done up to make it seem as though they were actually outside, at night. It was filled with what looked to be convertibles from the late fifties, until one realised that those seated within the "vehicles" were eating food on small countertops. Waitresses skated from car to car on old-time roller skates. In the back, the kitchen area where the waitresses got the food was made up to look like a concession stand. And on the other side of the room was a sizable movie screen, on which news reels, cartoons, drive-in interstitial ads, and trailers from old sci-fi films played.

They were seated in the center of the room, Daniel and Vala in the front of one car, Tealc and Cameron in the seats behind them, and Cassandra and her friends in the car next to theirs. Sound was pretty lost in the room; each car had its own speaker for the goings-on of the movie screen. Daniel and his companions found they could talk in relative privacy from the girls in the car next to them, so long as they spoke quietly. Daniel actually enjoyed answering the hundreds of questions Vala had about the things they saw on the screen. Having seen the show a fair number of times himself, he was free, again, to concentrate on watching her. After a minute of two he realised he should probably look at the menu and see what Vala wanted, since she obviously wasn't going to take a peek herself.

After looking it over twice, he frowned. The waitress arrived, and asked if they were ready.

"You don't have _cheeseburgers_ anymore?" he asked, appalled at the menu changes. What on earth were all these fancy eats doing there? Where was the Monster Mash and the Martian Meatloaf?? And why were there so many drinks with _liqueurs_ in them?? He'd been coming there for years, and it had always been All-American _diner_ fare! Had it really been so long since his last visit to the restaurant?

"Oh, you can still get a cheeseburger if you want," the waitress said cheerfully.

He breathed a sigh of relief. "I'll have that, then, very rare, and a chocolate shake."

" _Just_ chocolate? No--"

"Yes, just chocolate, thanks," he smiled. He didn't want Vala knowing that liqueur was an option.

"And for you, miss?"

"Oh, I'll have whatever he's having," Vala answered distractedly, intent on the screen.

"Make that three," Cameron said.

"I will have the same," Teal'c told her, equally enraptured by the clips from _The Amazing Colossal Man_. 

"Okay, then. Can I get you any appetizers?"

"Onion rings," Daniel and Cameron said together. "Two baskets," Daniel elaborated, though, looking at Teal'c, he wondered for a moment if he should order three. Well, they could always snack on something else later, if necessary....

The waitress reappeared a few minutes later, placing two cups in front of each of them, as well as a big, shiny mixing cup containing more shake, on each counter. Vala looked curiously at her cups. Both were transparent and covered in space-age graphics, with the Dine-In's logo. One was full of shake; the other cup was empty, save for something that resembled an ice cube. Then she noticed something in the shake-filled cup, pressed against the side of the cup -- a thin line of green light.

"Daniel, there's something in my drink...."

He grinned and opened his own empty cup, pulling out the cube. He rapped it against the table, making her jump. To her astonishment, it was suddenly glowing blue in his palm. "There's one of these in it," he explained. "They give us the empty ones to take home, so we don't have to wash out the ones with the shake. And check this out!" He took the empty cup and brought it under the table, to hide it from the lights. The cup itself was glowing. Vala's eyes bulged.

"Is it really safe to drink out of these things?" she asked.

"Aww, a little radioactivity never hurt anybody," Cameron insisted, winking.

She turned back to Daniel, looking horrified. Daniel sighed. "No, it's _not_ radioactive," he assured her.

He hoped Sam and Jack were having a nice time, realizing that Jack's asking him to baby-sit wasn't just a joke ....

After dinner, they made their way back down Sunset, stopping in the shops they'd skipped earlier, though nobody bought anything this time. Daniel didn't even realise he was singing along to "On a Slow Boat to China" until Vala asked him what he was singing. Swept away by the moment, instead of stopping when he realised what he was doing, he sang a little louder and began to dance with her. She giggled as he twirled her, then dipped her. They'd gathered a bit of a crowd with their antics; their audience applauded the maneuver.

"Kiss her!" shouted someone; a glance told Daniel it was Jack, the man and Sam having caught up with them.

Daniel was about to protest, when Vala said, "You know, a girl could develop a complex, dating you."

"Well, we can't have that, can we?" Daniel replied, then did as his former commander ordered. The crowed whooped and hollered -- Cameron being the loudest.

When Daniel and Vala were standing upright again, the linguist was a little dazed and speechless, his glasses askew. "Your turn," Daniel told Jack, after Vala had kindly straightened the frames.

Jack dipped Sam into a similar lip-lock. Cameron pretended to time them. A Streetmosphere cop came along and ordered the crowd to "break it up", then issued Jack a "ticket" for public displays of affection. Years later, Uncle Jack would tell Daniel and Vala's children how he was nearly arrested at Disney World for kissing their Aunt Sam.

For now, the happy group made their way down the road, past the theatre for the _Beauty and the Beast_ stage show (which Daniel made a mental note to bring Vala to the next time they came), to the stadium for the Studio's pyrotechnics display, Fantasmic. The stadium was huge and roofless, the seats bordering a lagoon with a stone "mountain"-stage at its heart.

They'd arrived an hour early -- Daniel was glad they were visiting during the off-season, or they might have had to arrive as much as _two_ hours early. Truth be told, he wouldn't normally think it worth waiting an hour, for, either, but Vala had never seen it, and he thought she should at least once. And Mitchell helped with the wait by producing two decks of cards, which they combined to play a game he called "Onze". Unfortunately, they didn't get to finish the game when the show started -- and Mitchell was winning.

When the show finally got going, Vala, like Daniel, seemed to prefer the actual fireworks and lights _in_ the water to the character performances or the projections shown _on_ the water. "This music isn't as good as the music for the show we saw last night," she remarked. The _Pocahontas_ section seemed to be putting her to sleep, but she perked up dramatically when floats started going by with the Disney Princesses and their princes dancing on them. As Daniel listened, he was struck by the words to the theme song from _Beauty and the Beast_ :

" _Barely even friends,_  
then somebody bends  
unexpectedly  
Just a little change,  
small to say the least  
Both a little scared,  
neither one prepared,  
Beauty and The Beast..."

Well, if that didn't sum up there relationship -- especially how the night Cameron convinced him to bend a little in regards to Vala had led to a major shift in how he perceived and treated her -- he didn't know what did! He felt a flush of guilt; he had been more than a little "beastly" to her before then. Well, not that she hadn't been a bit of a beast at times _herself_ , but still....

He kissed her temple.

"What was that for?" she asked, smiling.

"For not giving up on me."

She raised a brow at him. "I think you've got it backwards, darling -- you were the one who didn't stop looking for _me -- **twice**_!"

"There's a lot of different ways to be lost," he said, tenderly brushing her hair behind her ear.

"I don't think _either_ of us is lost at the moment," she told him. "I've never been so happy with who I am, or where -- or with whom. It makes me wish we never had to leave this place."

He was speechless for a moment. He was moved nearly to tears, but he couldn't honestly say the same back to her. He loved Vala, he was sure of that now, but he had loved Sha're too. He couldn't lie and pretend he'd never been this happy before, even if he'd never been _happi **er**_. "I don't think the where matters so much," he told her finally, resting his forehead against her temple, his breath stirring her hair. "But I _do_ think I'd die again if I lost you."

~ *@* ~

Snow White sang about finding her prince. _Poor girl -- I found **mine**_ , Vala thought. _If there are any true gods out there, somewhere, never let me lose him again, please. I'll be a model citizen the rest of my life, never steal from anyone again, if you promise **he'll** never be taken from **me**_....

She closed her eyes, a tear falling with the motion, and just enjoyed his presence, his breath on her skin, his hand in hers. She reveled in the knowledge that his dream was the same as hers, a simple wish to never be parted. Whatever dragons were out there to face, they'd face them together.

As if reading her mind, the evil fairy Meleficent transformed into a mighty dragon, and set the water ablaze. The sudden heat startled them both.

* * *

Daniel laughed a moment, until he saw the terror in Vala's eyes. He realised she was remembering her death and near-death by burnings. Truth be told, he wasn't feeling too comfortable either, seeing as he was nearly burned himself at one point, at her side. He drew her into his arms, his heart breaking for her as he felt her tremble. Knowing how the experience plagued his own sleep, he could only too well imagine her nightmares.

"It's okay, it won't hurt you, it's just a trick of the show," he whispered soothingly, rubbing her back. "I'm here, and I won't let _any_ thing happen to you," he promised.

He felt eyes on them; looking up, he found the rest of SG-1 looking on with concern -- and, to his great surprise, so was Peri. She didn't ask what was wrong; he had the unsettling feeling that she _knew_ , though.

Mickey defeated Meleficent, and Vala began to relax. Daniel didn't let go of her at all for the remainder of the evening, keeping an arm around her as they exited the show and made their way back to Hollywood Boulevard, and holding her hand as they browsed the shops, went through the exit turnstiles at the front of the park, and waited for a bus.

"Daniel, that's not our bus!" Vala protested when she caught sight of the marquee on the front of the vehicle, which read Downtown Disney / Westside / Pleasure Island. "We waited at the wrong stop!"

"Oh, we're not going to the hotel yet," he told her. "The night's still young! There's shopping to be done, games to be played...."

She grinned. "Ooooh, darling, now you're speaking my language!" She kissed him.

_Funny how this kissing in public thing gets easier and easier_ , he thought to himself before reluctantly breaking it off and leading her onto the bus.

They got off the bus at the area formerly known as the "Disney Village Marketplace", now called "Downtown Disney", although that name technically applied to two neighboring areas as well. Daniel bought Vala more pages for her scrapbook in the stationary shop. They browsed the shop for the Rainforest Café, more to look at the animal animatronics than the actual wares. They checked out the windows of the Christmas shop, then went inside, with Daniel explaining the concept -- including its pagan historical roots -- while they browsed. 

"Easy, Jackson, you'll put her to sleep, and then you'll have to carry her everywhere," Cameron teased.

"Hey! I _want_ to learn about this Chris's Miss! Especially the part about the presents!" Vala protested. "Although, I must say the carrying idea sounds like a good one," she added, giving Daniel a mischievous smile.

And old woman overheard the whole exchange and gave Vala an odd look. "You don't know anything about _Christmas_?" she asked (rather rudely, Daniel thought), in an incredulous tone. 

"She's Jewish," Cameron explained.

"And from _Mars_ , it seems," Peri added from the other side of a display, startling them all before walking away.

Daniel caught site of Teal'c making the "squishing your head" motion at her and had to sit down on the nearby bench, the mix of nerves and hysteria overcoming him. Cameron, similarly afflicted, plopped down beside him.

"Are we going to survive this weekend?" he laughed.

"I don't think so," Daniel replied, wiping a tear of mirth away.

Vala and Teal'c once again exchanged their patented _These Tau'ri are insane_ glances.

Vala shocked Daniel by not wanting anything from the candy shop -- not that there was likely to be anything new to buy her, but still.... They browsed a few more stores before stumbling across the giant pin shop; there Daniel bought her a Stitch lariat and a half-dozen Stitch pins. In the toy shop across the way, Vala discovered that, towards the ceiling, there were mock "rules" for various well-known games; the group spent a good ten minutes reading them all and howling with laughter. Then Daniel bought Vala a Stitch doll that danced the hula and played the theme song to the _Lilo and Stitch_ animated series. She shocked him again by making him promise that that was the last thing he would buy -- lest they ended up having to leave their clothes behind in order to fit all the souvenirs in the suitcases! He reluctantly agreed.

"I don't normally spend like this," he insisted. "I'm never _home_ enough to, really."

"I'm a bad influence!" she declared, clearly proud of the fact.

_Yes, and if I'd realised how fun it was to spoil you, I would have started ages ago..._ He wisely kept the thought to himself.

They stopped in Ghiradelli for sundaes. Daniel and Vala agreed to split one, but she ate most of it, which was fine with him -- he didn't actually care much for the shop's fudge anyway. Teal'c, on the other hand, seemed to adore it, devouring the largest sundae the shop had available all by himself.

Vala was delighted by the Pirate Stitch on the roof of the _World of Disney_ store, who "spat" on the crowd below. Teal'c took a picture of it for her scrapbook. They browsed just the pirate section of the shop, then headed straight to the Lego store. Cameron bought several buckets of the "bulk Legos", where one got to choose one's pieces; Daniel wondered if the rest of them should be worried about what the man was going to _do_ with them.

They decided to skip Pleasure Island, mostly because Vala didn't have an ID yet, but rather than reveal this fact, Sam artfully managed to convince Cassandra's college friends that it simply wasn't worth bothering with -- particularly since they weren't of drinking age anyway. Daniel was kind of relieved; the only club he'd ever really enjoyed himself at was the Adventurer's Club. Cam and Teal'c looked a bit disappointed, though.

They went over to Westside instead, and paused at a fountain outside of Planet Hollywood and the AMC theatres, trying to decide what to do. Daniel had to fight a very strong urge to soak his feet in the fountain. Then he had to fight _Vala's_ urge, as she sat at the edge and took her sandals off. She looked as forlorn about not being allowed to stick her feet in the water as he felt.

They eventually decided on doing Disney Quest, Westside's indoor virtual-reality theme-park. Cam and Teal'c perked up immensely, challenging each other to arcade game after arcade game. Jack, Sam, Daniel, and Vala played Pirates of the Caribbean: Battle for Buccaneer's Gold three times that night. The game took place in a small room with VR screens on three walls. The players stood on a slightly-rocking boat deck, with one player steering while the others shot cannons at other ships on the screens. Jack and Daniel took turns steering. On their third try, they got very close to the highest possible score. Vala insisted it was because of her and Daniel's hats and the rest of her pirate gear that they did so well, and no one argued. They played a few other games, until closing was announced, then met their companions at the exit.

The moment he stepped through the exit turnstile, Daniel felt as though someone had pulled his plug -- all his energy just seemed to vanish. The next thing he knew, they were standing outside their hotel rooms again, the trip back having been a total blur. Sam told him that he and Vala had fallen asleep on the bus, leaning against each other and basically holding each other up. Daniel just _knew_ Teal'c had taken a picture.

He reluctantly kissed Vala goodnight; while they were even more tired now than they had been the night before, he simply didn't want to let her go -- nor she him. 

=*=

After Jack kissed Sam, his girl gently led the sleepy Vala into the girls' suite. Jack sighed, exasperated, when he realised he would have to do the same for Daniel, who showed no sign of moving for their own door.

"Come on, 'Indy'", he chuckled.

Daniel plopped unconscious onto his bed without removing a single article of clothing. Shaking his head fondly but ruefully at the younger man, Jack poked and prodded him into getting back up. He drew the blankets down, took the pirate hat off Daniel's head and set it on the nightstand, then told the man to sit, so he could take off Daniel's shoes. Daniel fell sideways against the pillows; Jack swung his legs up onto the bed and pulled the blankets over him. Chuckling and patting Daniel's shoulder, he turned to his own bed. A second later, he could hear Daniel snoring softly.

* * *

That night, Daniel dreamt that he was indeed Indiana Jones, and Vala was Marylin. They had to fight their way out of a pit of host-less Goa'uld, then past a Nazi with pale skin and eyes who kept saying "Heil Ori!"....

~ FINIS ~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next installment: Epcot!
> 
> Downtown Disney underwent an overhaul in 2015/6, and is now twice the size and called Disney Springs. While Pleasure Island is long gone, alas (so sad about the Adventurers' Club), though, most of what I describe is still there. Rumour is Disney Quest will be closing, but as of this writing, it's still open.

**Author's Note:**

> If you've enjoyed my writing, I invite you to explore my original fantasy storyverse, [Gaiankind](http://gaiankind.com)! You can even find Gaiankind stories for free [here](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Gaiankind) on AO3!


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